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RELATIONSHIP TO GO: LOVE LIFE ON TOUR
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Relationship to Go: Love Life on Tour
Going away to do a gig? Get some tips on how to keep that relationship healthy!
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By: Summyr Whaley
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You’ve landed the job of your dreams…on the road. The move may be right for your career, but is it right for your love life? Friends and family are thrilled, but your significant other is not. Here’s how to deal with the affect of distance on your relationship.
The reality of your life as a performer is that work will often take you away from home. It will take you away from friends and family and away from your true love. Keeping a romantic relationship strong across the miles is difficult, but not impossible. It’s hard on both parties, but keep in mind the particular struggles of the “one left behind”. They are left in the place where all of your memories together live. They will see you in everything they do and will need a particular sensitivity throughout the engagement. You’ll be meeting new friends who are strange and threatening to your love. You will be seeing things they’ll wish they were experiencing with you. Communication will be key as you begin to decide on the course of the relationship. Take time to explore the following important issues with your partner before you hit the road:
Openly discuss each other’s feelings about being separated.
Allow your partner to be a participant in the decision to accept the contract or not.
Discuss what you want from the relationship. Will you have an exclusive relationship while apart? Define and outline exactly where you stand with one another before leaving.
What do you expect from your partner on a daily, weekly and monthly level?
Create solid guidelines for the maximum amount of time between visits
List clearly, side by side, the positive and negative aspects of accepting the job
Plan the first visit before leaving town.
Discuss a cell phone or multimedia plan that will allow you to talk, text or email all day no matter where you are in the world.
Sign up for a credit card that gives frequent flier miles or rewards for every dollar spent. Use your credit card for nearly all of your expenses to earn free travel to visit one another.
Once the decision has been made to go, remember to stay creative about making your love feel involved and cherished. Set aside time that is dedicate to the growth of trust and appreciation for one another, even though you are miles apart.
Send something unexpected that represents the place you are visiting
Send a photo journal of a day in your life on tour
Email an online “love mix”
Write a letter. A true, old-fashioned love letter
Send a video love note.
Long distance love is challenging, but can also prove to be very important and educational in a relationship. Being apart for a period of time teaches partners to be more creative about expressing their love. The time that you do get to spend together is often infused with a sense of importance and is some of the best quality time you will experience. Time spent apart gives you each the chance to develop personally and know yourself more deeply. All of these things can lead to a more fulfilling relationship when you return home.
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